Curse you Paper Man....Curse You

I am still baffled at how my paper man manages to screw up my daily deliveries.  I must say, I never viewed paper delivery as a complex and challenging job.  After all, it's not like he has to ride by on is Schwinn and flick my papers from his bicycle basket...but I am learning that you have to contend with all sorts of challenges.  The most challenging obstacle still seems to be....get ready for it...The Beacon Wielding Thief (cue music "dun, dun, dun").

***Side Note*** Does anyone remember the show "Get A Life"?  It was on Fox back in the day.  I picture my paper man to be something very similar.  Here is the opening montage to spark your memory...

I have to admit, he did manage to beat the thief and get me my papers for two and a half weeks straight (maybe the thief was taking a little vacay perhaps?).  But last weekend....the thief returned.  On Saturday he left me a Chicago Tribune in place of my Sun-Times....an attempt to throw us off his trail?  Maybe.  When we called for a re-delivery (or second attempt at a proper delivery) we got yet another Tribune.  The thief must have been anticipating this move and waited patiently in the bushes.

This was not the last we were to hear of the thief this week.  On Sunday...he struck again.  Snatching my Sun-Time and leaving his trademark calling card...The Beacon (cue music again "dun, dun, dun).  The hubs called for a second attempt...but it wasn't meant to be and my Sun-Times never arrived...or did it?

The hubs called again on Monday....on Tuesday our Sun-Times arrived and looked like this...

In case you cannot read his writing, it says "Do Not Steal This Paper".  And of course, it was complete with my favorite orange warning label (cue "Danger Will Robinson" sound effects).

So the saga of The Beacon Wielding Thief continues.  

He Actually Got It Right!

As I peered out the window this morning and saw two Tribunes and a Sun-Times at the foot of my driveway, I almost couldn't believe my eyes.  Was I seeing this right?  Had he finally succeeded?  Well wouldn't you know it...winner, winner, chicken dinner, he had!  Now, will he be able to sustain it for more than one week?  Only time will tell, but I have to honestly say I don't hold out much hope considering his past track record.

Since it is Mother's Day, the hubs took me out to breakfast at Nosh and then to do a little shopping for our room redecorate.  I was able to find a cute little table and some awesome shams.  We finished up and headed home...but of course, I had to make a small pit stop to do some couponing...just a teeny, weeny bit...it is my day after all!

Here is what I picked up at Jewel, I had to do two transactions:

Transaction 1:

• 4 boxes Magnum ice cream bars $12.00.  Used 4 $1/1 q's and the $3 OYNO Cat I picked up at Wags the other day for the Mr. Clean deal.

Total OOP was $5.21, and I got back a $4 OYNO Cat.

Transaction 2:

• 4 boxes Magnum ice cream bars $12.00.  Used 4 $1/1 q's and the $4 OYNO Cat from the previous order.

Total OOP was $4.21 and I got back another $4 OYNO Cat.  Not to bad for some awesome ice cream bars...gonna take these to my Mother-In-Laws house tonight to enjoy after a nice dinner.

Happy Mother's Day!

The Beacon-Wielding Thief Strikes Again!

Sunday has arrived again...every couponer's favorite day of the week...the day that paper goodness is delivered at the end of my driveway and I get my coupon fix.  It is also now the day my inept paper carrier crushes my spirit and throws out the fall guy....The Beacon....instead of my second Tribune.  How many times must I tell this man, "I don't subscribe to the Beacon".

I have to admit, he was on a good roll, seven whole days in a row without a mis-delivery.  But alas, it just couldn't last and I am again stuck with the cursed Beacon.  I knew this would happen, I knew he would let me down again.  This relationship has to come to an end...I just cannot take the disappointment anymore.  I wish he would just up and leave instead of prolonging this emotional abuse.  The man needs counseling....ok, at the very least a delivery map.

Anyone remember the Nintendo game "Paperboy" from back in the day?  You had to get the papers at the right house or you would lose your subscribers and eventually get fired.  Maybe I am stuck in a real-life version of "Paperboy", if only this one had a reset button and I could start over.  Maybe then, I could wake up on a Sunday morning stress-free and coupon satisfied.  Instead, I am again faced with repeated calls to that far off land where they could care less about my addiction.

Overreacting you say?  Maybe a pinch, but I need my coupons and this weekend's edition has five, yes five, inserts.  Good thing I hit up Menard's yesterday for two extra copies (they sell them for only $1/paper...a good investment for the return I will surely get from this week's coupon extravaganza).

So here I sit, blogging yet again about my paper carrier's shortcomings (of which, there are many).  I sit waiting and hoping that my second Tribune will arrive...that my set of inserts will be complete with this last addition of friends.

I do know one thing for certain.  When Christmas rolls around and he leaves that little note wishing me a Happy Holidays and asking for a tip, I will have one to dole out...and it won't be of the monetary variety.

Stay tuned for another episode of "As the Paper Turns", I am sure it will be yet another drama-filled adventure.

****Update****

My paper finally arrived at around 12:30....just a little over the one hour redelivery time the hubs was promised when he called into the Tribune at 7:30 this morning.  You would think that having to drive a paper back out to a house on your route would help you remember what papers that address gets.  You would also think that having to do it at least once, if not twice, every week for almost two months would doubly reinforce that....you would think.  Unfortunately, I am of the conclusion that my paper delivery man does no thinking at all.

This Beacon Is Not A Ray of Hope...

This Sunday's paper had a plethora of coupons in it.  Almost a Christmas in April...complete with snow.  There were two Smartsource inserts and two Red Plum inserts, enough to pacify my addiction for at least several days...if I could only get my hands on them.

For the second weekend in a row, my newspaper delivery person (and I use the word "delivery" loosely) has failed to deliver my second Sunday edition of the Tribune (I am supposed to get two copies delivered on Sundays).  He (or she) instead likes to leave me The Beacon in place of the Tribune...a paper to which I have never had a subscription nor do I want one (and why would I when I keep getting it for free?).  It's almost like the Beacon is his fall-guy.  If he can't remember what paper I get...he just throws the Beacon out there to take one for the team.  Does he really think The Beacon will pacify me and I will forget his many shortcomings as a paper delivery person?  He doesn't know me at all...

In case you are wondering, these mis-delivery occurrences aren't just reserved for a Sunday assault on my coupons.  They usually occur at a rate of about every third day.  I don't tend to care too much about the others, as they don't tend to have around $100 dollars stashed in the advert section, but I have begun reporting them since they are no longer isolated instances.  Sometimes he will redeliver the paper, sometimes he won't.....and sometimes he will leave me another Beacon...

This Sunday he again failed to leave my second copy of the Tribune.  When I looked out the window and saw only one had arrived,  I felt an overwhelming sense of anger and resentment towards my delivery person.  Don't they know it is Sunday???  For Pete's sake, it's like Santa doing a drive-by and forgetting to toss the presents down the chimney!   

Now I was going to have to attempt to get a redelivery of the Tribune and this involves making a phone call (sometimes several) to a far off land (and I'm not talking the North Pole).  I could only hope all my dialing wouldn't result in another Beacon.  Now I do not mean to offend, but I hate when I call for assistance and my phone call gets transferred to a call center several thousand miles away.  I ask you, how the heck is it helpful to talk to someone in a completely different country about a paper that I am supposed to get delivered in Illinois?  I want to talk to someone in Illinois about my paper in Illinois, is that too much to ask?!?!?!  They don't give a hoot about my paper and my yearning for coupons.  They probably think I am some loon.  Far fetched?  Maybe not...but I digress.  They just calmly recite their pre-formulated responses, assure me one will be redelivered in an hour and send me on my way.

Well, this Sunday I demanded someone call me back.  Low and behold, the phone rings and the area code says"312", could it really be???  Someone who lives in Illinois is calling about my paper in Illinois???  I was more than willing to discuss my unfulfilled delivery needs.  I was like a nutter-butter on a therapist's couch.  I went on and on and on and on about my paper and the missing coupons.  I told him all about my delivery person's shortcomings and I believe I even used the word "inept"  A little much?? Possibly.  But they are my coupons and I want them now...

This morning this was attached to my paper:

Now, I have already drawn the conclusion that my delivery person is, in fact, a total idiot.  But come on, really?  Do you think I am going to believe that someone is stealing my paper and leaving a Beacon in it's place?  Or better yet...replacing my redelivery with yet another Beacon?  

Does he really think this insert is really going to restore my faith in his delivery capabilities and make me reconsider the fact that he isn't screwing up my morning papers, but that they are being stolen by a Beacon-wielding thief???  I can only conclude that he is far dumber than I had first thought.  But as my father-in-law says, "It doesn't take all kinds, there just is."  No truer words have ever been spoken.  

Ahhh...the Smell of Coupons in the Morning

I think Sunday is my favorite day of the week.  Not because it is a family day or a day to relax (although those are close to the top), it is the day the coupons come.  Yes, I really do get THAT excited!  And why wouldn't I?  Someone is throwing a couple of hundred dollars at the end of my driveway.  That's how I look at coupons.  If someone was printing dollar bills in the paper, wouldn't you cut them out too???  It's the same thing.  I am also lucky to have several neighbors who help pacify my coupon addiction by giving me their coupon inserts as well.  So every week, I get between 7-9 copies of each insert.  Sound a little much?  Maybe...but I am happy to report that I am nowhere as crazy as those couponers on TLC's "Extreme Couponing".  They give us couponers a bad name...but I am sure I will rant about that in a later post:)

So before I can even start clipping this weeks goodies, I need to purge my coupon organizer to make room for all my new little friends.  This is what my organizer looks like after the purge and before todays clippings.

If you are a Seinfeld fan, I like to call this "George's Wallet".  I can only hope that it doesn't explode on  a street corner and spew all my little friends into an oblivion, that could be cause for a mini-meltdown.

Since we are talking about min-meltdowns, my newspaper carrier has failed to deliver my second (yes, that's right...my second) Tribune this morning.  I have now called three times and yet no redelivery!  I think I may need a drink to calm my nerves...LOL.

Now, back to rounding up my little friends and planning our weekly field trips.